Friday, November 4, 2011

The First Steps

Watching a baby take its first steps is such an exciting moment for everyone who has watched that baby grow from the day it was born. For the child, it is exciting and a little wobbly and scary in the beginning. Then the baby gets the hang of walking and soon is walking everywhere. The next thing you know the child is running around and once and a while she will fall down, bump her head, or get a scratch. But, there is always someone there to pick the baby up give lots of love and kisses and make it all better. Soon after the baby is reassured that they can walk again and not fall they are right back on their feet. 

Now, I feel that God feels the same way the parent does when the child takes their first steps when we take the first steps in a new direction in our lives. For us as adults or growing adults it is scary and a little wobbly until we really get the hang of it. And sure we will too fall down and bump our heads and need someone to reassure us that we can walk again. 

God wants us to grow and learn and that is why he gives us challenges and trials and blessings. Since I am 20 years old I obviously think that the hardest thing in life is change and moving on and growing up. Its hard for me to accept that people who I love may not always be in my life, or may not be as big a part of my life in the future. The thing is that God has a specific plan for each of us and even if we may not be able to recognize the beauty of His plan its there to help us. 

I have been having a hard time this whole year out here understanding why I can't all stay close to some of the  people who made such a difference in my life. It is hard for me to let go of people that I love. Sometimes I feel like I have lost a best friend, but at other times I am grateful for the trial because I have learned so much about myself and about life. In this situation I have learned to rely on my Heavenly Father and I have learned the value of Fasting to not be bitter towards this trial. 

When I first came out here to Philadelphia I was unsure about the outcome of this experience, I was scared of tons of things but just as a child learning to walk I was also excited. I quickly got the hang of my new life and sure I "fell down" plenty of times, but I always relied on my Heavenly Father to help me back on my feet. Of course there were times when I just wanted to go home and be done with this experience, but to be honest, as I was talking to my boss' last night about leaving and finding them a new nanny I got sentimental. But we aren't going to get into that in this post because I still have 7 weeks. 

The point of this post, besides me just rambling, is that we are all babies. 
Haha just kidding but really I am and I have decided that its okay. After all the scriptures tell us to be a little children right? And on that note kids lose friends and gain friends everyday. Maura tells me everyday she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, and the next day we are best friends again. Maybe that is a lesson in itself. 

I am ready to take that step forward from my old life and move on. I have grown to understand that, yes it sucks that people move on and it feels like they don't need you anymore, but as my Mother says to me everyday: 

So thats where Im at right now. Im taking my first steps.

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